how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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