Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
