I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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