ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
