You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
