Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
