things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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