David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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