Sponge bath it is.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
