I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
