Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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