did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
