I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
