we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
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She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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