In the future we'll all be gay
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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