when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
