how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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