i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
