At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
