she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
