if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Randomize
