the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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