this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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