literally had 100 drinks last night.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
