My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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