Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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