Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize