Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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