great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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