just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
