Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
