I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Im part way to drunk.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
