oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
