You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
