areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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