You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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