I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
