i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
