Dual....:-)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
