So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just want to make out with him forever
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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