Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
