I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
