xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
