just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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