I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
