oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
