Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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