Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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