your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
MIDGETS
????
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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