i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
