she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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