Kiss
Puke
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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