I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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