We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
