TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
