now i know why i became what i already was.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
