Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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