I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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