So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
