Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
