Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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