Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize